Musicpost: David Cook on AI's Top 3 week

I liked David Cook from the beginning of the season, and, like everyone else, loved his versions of "Hello" and "Billie Jean." But it was at this precise moment--when he sang Roberta Flack's "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face," a song judge Simon Cowell chose for him--that I understood the scope of his talent and knew that he would win the title of American Idol 2008.

The performance is only 1:37 long, but it's more that enough to get to me every single time I see it. Enjoy.

(For the longer version with comments from the judges go here.)



Copyright © 2009, Primetime Oracle
All Rights Reserved

All this fuss over a handjob

Left: David Archuleta and his dad Jeffery Achuleta attend a new release signing and fan greeting event for his self-titled album David Archuleta on Nov 11 in New York City. (Joe Corrigan/Getty Images)

Former American Idol runner-up David Archuleta's father got caught receiving "sexual gratification" at a massage parlor, news outlets reported this week.

So what? Who cares?

Well, self-righteous Americans and the justice system care.

Jeff Archuleta, 47, was charged with soliciting a massage parlor prostitute, pleaded no contest and paid a $582 fine after he was arrested Jan. 14 during a raid at a massage parlor in Midvale.

That was in January, and somehow we're now hearing about it because someone thought it's news and spread it around.

During the raid, six officers entered the parlor and "found a female masseuse and male client," Midvale Police Sgt. John Salazar said. "At that time, an interview ensued and the male client admitted to receiving sexual gratification from the masseuse."

Sexual gratification? What exactly is he talking about--a handjob, a blowjob? And what's wrong with that? Alright, alright...if he paid for it, it's prostitution, and prostitution is illegal in this country. That's a load of crap--or sperm, in this case--if you ask me.

Jeff Archuleta's lawyer Eric Bauer said his client was there getting legitimate massage therapy for his back. Uh, huh.

"Oh, I don't know what those police officers say, I mean, who knows what they say," he told New York's Daily News of police claims. (That's kinda flaky for a lawyer, isn't it?) "He did not go there for sex and that was it and pure, plain and simple that's the way it was."

WTF? Either this guy can't talk in coherent sentences or the reporter who took the quote sucks.

As part of his plea to the class B misdemeanor, Archuleta agreed to complete a counseling class.

Counseling for what--not wanting or seeking or paying for sexual gratification? Will the so-called counseling include a seminar by the Pick-up Artist on how to get it for free?

Did I mention sexual oppression and I don't get along?

The case reportedly will be dismissed when he appears in court June 30 for a review as long as he does not repeat the crime.

Right, maybe when he's high-strong and frantic with sexual frustration and...I don't know...beats somebody up in parking lot somewhere he'll be ordered counseling sessions on how to channel his sexual energy via masturbation, a.k.a auto- or self-handjobs for which one does not pay oneself.

Meanwhile, David--the man with the velvet voice--is thanking his fans for standing by him during this difficult time.

"David is busy preparing for his upcoming tour with Demi Lovato," his rep said in a statement. "He thanks his fans for their continued support."

Jeff Archuleta was famously accused of disrupting production on American Idol in 2008. He was even banned backstage after pressuring David to alter his "Stand By Me" performance by adding a verse from the Sean Kingston tune "Beautiful Girls." Jeff had ignored the producers' objections, creating problems with the song's publisher.

You see? That man really needs to get laid...or blown...or both...massage table or not.

Source: US magazine, E!, Extra, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

Adam Lambert comes out, signs record deal

"I don't think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I'm gay."

There. Adam Lambert finally said it in his highly anticipated Rolling Stone cover, which is great because that means no more "keep speculating" stories.

The American Idol runner-up reveals that he put off the topic of his sexuality for so long because he just wanted to make sure he came out in the coolest way possible...

"Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, 'I'm going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler,' " he says in the issue out this Friday. "I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context."

Wise move. Celebrity magazines don't let you get as creative with the crotch snakes and butterflies on their covers.

He also explains why he didn't come out while the show was airing, especially after photos of him in drag making out with dudes started to surface:

"I was worried that [coming out] would be so sensationalized that it would overshadow what I was there to do, which was sing. I'm an entertainer, and who I am and what I do in my personal life is a separate thing. It shouldn’t matter. Except it does. It's so confusing."

And after all the explanations are through, he declares: "I'm proud of my sexuality. I embrace it. It's just another part of me."

Lambert was raised in San Diego and currently lives in Los Angeles and confesses that the recent controversy over Proposition 8 is something that hit close to home. "This civil rights movement is near to my heart... I'm not asking to get married in your church, but you don't have any right to tell me I can't do it."

Lambert--who has been dubbed "Glambert" for his show-stopping outfits, heavy guyliner and black nail polish--quickly earned the favor of the judges on "Idol" and amassed a huge following because of his stellar voice and enigmatic stage presence.

As for the rest of his American Idol experience, something a psychedelic trip on "certain funguses" at Burning Man inspired him to pursue, two kinda awesome things have come from it.

First, he figured out he likes himself: "I'm finally checked in to my self-worth for the first time in my life, and the fact that it has coincided with Idol is so sweet."

And second, he signed a record deal, which is almost as shocking as his Rolling Stone announcement. 19 Entertainment and RCA Recordings announced today that they signed Lambert, whose debut record is expected this Fall.

"I'm thrilled that we've come to a creative and collaborative partnership and look forward to developing a really exciting album," Lambert says in a press release. "We are 100 percent on the same page and are all anxiously awaiting the start of the recordings. It's going to be ridiculous! Get Ready!!!"

A record deal and Rolling Stone cover on the same day? It's like he told the music mag, "Now I'm in a waking dream."

Sources: E! Online, ExtraTV
Copyright © 2009

Too much hype killed the YouTube stars

Adam Lambert, runner-up of American Idol

Susan Boyle, runner-up of Britain's Got Talent

Adam Lambert was destined to become the next American Idol the moment he hit the show's Hollywood stage. The 27-year-old theatrical singer from San Diego stole the show from Day 1. His magnificent singing talent and irresistible charisma made him an overnight sensation.

Susan Boyle was destined to become the winner of Britain's Got Talent. The 48-year-old charity worker from Scotland stole the show from Day 1. Jaws were hitting keyboards throughout the world as the video of her audition performance of "I Had a Dream" became the fifth most popular YouTube clip ever.

Yet they both lost to the so-called underdog.

What went wrong?

Well, if you ask me, I think that among other possibilities what happened here was the result of too much hype--too much media coverage, too much talk, too many blogs, too much YouTube, too much adoration.

It goes to prove that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing...

Copyright © 2009

Kris Allen shocked he won American Idol

Kris Allen was shocked (and he wasn't alone) when he heard he was the new American Idol.
Photo by Kevin Winter, Getty Images for Fox

Did cheating play a part in who won American Idol last week?

The New York Times reported Wednesday that AT&T might have swayed American Idol finale results by providing cellphones for free texting and lessons in lessons in casting blocks of votes at two parties organized by fans of Kris Allen, 23, who was the winner last week.

At this time, it appears that no such "power texting" parties were thrown for runner-up Adam Lambert, 27, who was expected to be the winner by a landslide, the NYTs reported.

AT&T's cellphone network is the only one that can be used to cast American Idol votes via text messages.

“In Arkansas, we were invited to attend the local watch parties organized by the community," a spokesman for AT&T said in a statement Tuesday according to the NYTs report. "A few local employees brought a small number of demo phones with them and provided texting tutorials to those who were interested.”

Let's see. You're a huge company that sponsors a show that rides on votes, many of which are made via texting on your network. You're "invited" to "parties" at one of the two finalists' towns....and you go. Not only do you go, but you provide--yes, you, because your employees do not own the demo phones--a "small number" (how many is "small") of phones and texting tutorials "to those who were interested."

Are you kidding me? These so-called tutorials showed users how to send 10 or more texts by pressing a single button. And power-texts can influence voting results in ways single texts and phone calls can't.

And what about AI rules? At the end of each show, a statement on the screen warns that blocks of votes cast using “technical enhancements” that unfairly influence the outcome of voting can be thrown out. So, were they? Did Fox disqualify the power-texted votes?

According to the NYTs report Fox Broadcasting has declined to comment on the matter, but I doubt Fox will remain quiet for long if these allegations are true.

News of the voting support were first reported last week in an article in The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, the NYTs reported.

UPDATE:

Fox and the show's producers issued a statement late Wednesday reaffirming Allen's victory.

"The results of this competition are fair, accurate and verified," Fox said. "Kris Allen is, without a doubt, the American Idol. We have an independent third-party monitoring procedure in place to ensure the integrity of the voting process. In no way did any individuals unfairly influence the outcome of the competition."

Uh...alrighty then.

In its own statement, AT&T said that "going forward, we will make sure our employees understand our sponsorship celebrates the competition, not individual contestants. That said, it's quite a leap to suggest that a few individuals could have impacted the final results."

My Call...though I'm probably wrong

How else could Kris Allen win American Idol? Don't get me wrong--guitar and piano-playing Allen is OK, but that's it, just OK. Glam rocker Adam Lambert, on the other hand, showed up on that stage week after week looking like, singing like and performing like a superstar. If that's not an American Idol as per the show's own standards, then no one is, and Fox might as well rename the show to American Prom King or Queen.

My theory has been that textaholics (whose affliction is worse the younger they are) were responsible for the results. Cute-boy Allen became the favorite among prepubescent and pubescent girls since the first week, when the 13 finalists were being chosen. And those girls are faithful to their imaginary lovers.

So it was no surprise, though it was frustrating, that Allen sailed through week after week, regardless of his performances (which got better with time but which was not great in the beginning), while Adam ended up in the bottom two or three several times.

But to actually win the show? That's just nuts...or tough luck for Glambert.

No wonder nationwide SAT scores are dropping. This country needs a texting intervention, if you ask me.

Source: The New York Times
Copyright © 2009, Primetime Oracle
All Rights Reserved