Shatner recites Sarah Palin's poetic tweets

A few nights ago Tonight Show host Conan O'Brien and actor William Shatner boldly went to where no man has gone before--a place in which Sarah Palin's ramblings made sense.

Last night, the duo did it again. This time, Captain Kirk recited the tweets of the Quitter from Alaska. Tweets are short text messages on the social networking website Twitter.

The result speaks for itself. Enjoy.



I found quotes from Shatner somewhere in NBC's webpages. I never knew he was funny until the Priceline commercials. Turns out he's a riot.

"Star Trek was originally supposed to be a show about a bunch of rabbis in a synagogue. I said to the producers, 'instead of a synagogue, how about if the show is in outer space?' They said, 'okay.' That's pretty much how it happened."

"I tell people I have a 34-inch waist, but it's really 35."

"How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It's simple. I drink the blood of young runaways."

Sources: NBC
Copyright © 2009, Primetime Oracle
All Rights Reserved

William Shatner channels Sarah Palin at Conan's

Funny man and Tonigh Show host Conan O'Brien (NBC photo)

Last night, Tonight Show host Conan O'Brien shared with us a revelation he had about the farewell "speech" (if you can call it that) former Gov. Sarah Palin delivered Sunday: it was meant to be a poem, he said. Ohhh...

In a fit of genius, he brought actor and master narrator William Shatner to illustrate the epiphany and perform a poetic interpretation of the infamous "speech."

Republicans will most likely disagree, but putting aside political views, when we look at Palin's speeches what we see is someone who can't speak coherently--regardless of topic, setting, time of day or astrological aspects.

She couldn't communicate effectively during the presidential campaign debates. She couldn't do interviews without chewing on a foot. She couldn't say much at press conferences without coming across as a bumbling asshole. Sorry friends, but she just can't speak.

After the disastrous stream-of-consciousness she vomited earlier this month when announcing she was quitting (story here), how could she be allowed near a microphone again? Didn't she and her aids watch a replay of the July 3 babble? How could there be an expectation of her delivering anything but yet another incoherent, self-indulgent, absurd "speech"?

She would've been better off stepping down quietly and with some dignity, if you ask me. But opting for doing that would require common sense, which apparently Palin and those advising her (if that's even possible) lack.

Instead, she eagerly went ahead and made a fool of herself with an impossible to follow "speech" full of disconnected tangents and ornamented language that even herself couldn't possibly understand. (Could she?) And once again the public was left wondering what the heck she was trying to say.

Her decision to not keep her mouth shut further tarnished her image, if you ask me. In yet another attempt to martyrize herself by blaming her resignation on the media and those launching ethics attacks on her (where there's smoke, there's fire...), she confirmed that pointing fingers is what she does best.

So here are Conan and Shatner doing what they do best--making us laugh instead of pulling our hair out. UPDATE: NBC just pulled the YouTube video because it wants you to see it--and the ads--on its website. I've embedded the one on NBC's website below. If it doesn't work, go here.



And here is the original text in Palin's "speech":

"And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature's finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it's the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn't it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future. That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of America gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride."

And all I have to say about that is, WTF?!

For the full 2300-word transcript, click here -- if you have the stomach for it.

Copyright © 2009, Primetime Oracle
All Rights Reserved

Tonight Show's McMahon dies at 86

Ed McMahon appears on the Tonight Show on Jan 24, 2005, with Jay Leno, who replaced host Johnny Carson when he left. (Paul Drinkwater/WireImage.com)

Ed McMahon, the loyal Tonight Show sidekick who nightly introduced show host Johnny Carson with a resounding "H-e-e-e-e-e-ere's Johnny!" for 30 years, died early Tuesday at 86.

He died shortly after midnight surrounded by family. His publicist didn't give a cause of death, saying only that McMahon had a "multitude of health problems the last few months." However, a source close to McMahon said he had bone cancer, among other illnesses, and had been hospitalized for several weeks.

McMahon broke his neck in a fall in March 2007, and battled a series of financial problems as his injuries preventing him from working, AP reported.

McMahon and Carson had worked together for nearly five years on the game show Who Do You Trust? when Carson took over NBC's late-night show from Jack Paar in October 1962. McMahon played second banana on "Tonight" until Carson retired in 1992.

"You can't imagine hooking up with a guy like Carson," McMahon said an interview with The Associated Press in 1993. "There's the old phrase, hook your wagon to a star. I hitched my wagon to a great star."

McMahon, who never failed to laugh at his Carson's quips, kept his supporting role in perspective.

"It's like a pitcher who has a favorite catcher," he said. "The pitcher gets a little help from the catcher, but the pitcher's got to throw the ball. Well, Johnny Carson had to throw the ball, but I could give him a little help."

Sources: The Associated Press, CNN
Copyright © 2009