Obama vows U.S. will protect South Korea from North's nuclear threats

President Obama and South Korean leader Lee Myung Bak head for a news briefing at the White House on Tuesday in which they vowed to make North Korea think twice about its nuclear threats. (Alex Wong, Getty Images)

President Obama vowed Tuesday to protect South Korea from North Korea's nuclear threats, and end the North's longtime habit of firing off test missiles to win economic assistance, USA Today reported late Tuesday.

Obama said that, in recent years, N. Korea's provocations have been "rewarded" as Western countries offered fuel, food and loans in exchange for promises of good behavior that are eventually broken.

"We are going to break that pattern," Obama said after a White House meeting with South Korean President Lee Myung Bak. Obama told reporters assembled in the Rose Garden that N. Korea "will not find security or respect through threats and illegal weapons."

Lee, via a translator, said he is less fearful of a North Korean attack because of a "new plateau" of support with the U.S.

"When they look at the firm partnership and alliance that we have between our two countries, they will think twice about taking any measures that they will regret," Lee said.

The two leaders were less united with regard to a long-stalled free-trade agreement. Obama said officials are trying to work out differences over terms of trade for Korean beef and American cars.

Lee's visit came after weeks of aggressive actions by North Korea. They include a nuclear test, missile tests, the arrest of two American journalists and renewed threats against South Korea.

Sources: USA Today
Copyright © 2009

N. Koreans wave uranium-enriched tiny dicks

I'm definitely not in the mood for this, but I can't blow it off. How can we ignore words like uranium and plutonium--right?

It's not that I don't take the prospect of a nuclear war seriously; it's just that I think N. Korea is a bully with a runaway mouth. All it would take is one definite offensive move toward them, and they would crap their pants...if you ask me.

Nevertheless, you never know--right? Some trigger-happy or color-blind dude over there could press the red button instead of the green one and, poof, there we goes the world.

But this Oracle doesn't see that happening anytime soon.

Anyway...here's the latest on this model of democracy's bullying campaign.

North Korea responded to new U.N. sanctions with more defiance, promising Saturday to step up its nuclear bomb-making program by enriching uranium and threatening war on any country that dares to stop its ships on the high seas, AP reported.

North Korean officials with tiny dicks said they were enriching uranium and would weaponize all plutonium, according to KCNA, the state-run North Korean news agency, as reported by CNN.

The North's threats were the first public acknowledgment that the reclusive communist nation has been running a secret uranium enrichment program. Suspicions of the program touched off the latest nuclear crisis in 2002, AP reported.

The country also vowed never to give up its nuclear ambitions as a way to protect its sovereignty amid signs of preparations for naming its ailing leader Kim Jong Il's youngest son, Jong Un, as his successor.

"It has become an absolutely impossible option for [North Korea] to even think about giving up its nuclear weapons," the North's Foreign Ministry said in a statement carried by the country's official Korean Central News Agency, AP reported.

N. Korea also warned that any attempted blockade by the U.S. and its allies would be regarded as "an act of war and met with a decisive military response."

When enriched to a high degree, uranium can be used for weapons-grade material; plutonium can be used in atomic bombs.

N. Korea is believed to have about 110 pounds of plutonium, enough for a half dozen bombs, Yoon Deok-min, a professor at South Korea's state-run Institute of Foreign Affairs and National Security said according to the AP report. Reprocessing 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods stored at N. Korea's Yongbyon nuclear complex could yield an additional 18 to 22 pounds of plutonium—enough to make at least one more atomic bomb, he said.

The U.N. Security Council voted for a resolution imposing sanctions against N. Korea.

The U.N. Security Council unanimously voted Friday to expand and tighten sanctions on N. Korea after the nation's recent nuclear test. The 15-0 vote on U.N. Resolution 1874 imposes an embargo on the shipment of arms from the communist regime and broadens a ban on the import of weapons, CNN reported.

"No matter how hard the U.S.-led hostile forces may try all sorts of isolation and blockade, the DPRK [Democratic People's Republic of Korea], a proud nuclear power, will not flinch from them," KCNA said. Democratic my ass.

The resolution comes amid rising tension surrounding N. Korea, which last month conducted a nuclear test, fired test rockets and threatened U.S. and South Korean ships near its territorial waters. It strengthens provisions already in U.N. Resolution 1718, passed in 2006, but there are also new provisions in the resolution, said Susan E. Rice, U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

The new resolution requires states to "exercise vigilance" over the direct or indirect supply, sale or transfer to North Korea of small arms or light weapons, CNN reported.

The sanctions are aimed at depriving N. Korea of the financing used to build its rogue nuclear program. The resolution authorizes searches of N. Korean ships suspected of transporting illicit ballistic missile and nuclear materials, and prohibits nations from providing bunkering services, such as fuel, to N. Korean ships believed to be carrying contraband.

Late last month, two Defense Department officials said U.S. satellite imagery spotted "vehicle activity" at a N. Korean ballistic missile facility. The officials said the images showed vehicles used to transport Taepodong-2 missiles, but no missile parts. The Taepodong-2 is a long-range missile North Korea tested in April, CNN reported.

That test showed a significant improvement in range from N. Korea's initial long-range missile test in 2006.

This week, a U.S. official who was not authorized to speak on the record told CNN that Washington had "indications" that North Korea may be planning another test. The official would not provide any details, CNN reported.

U.S. President Barack Obama's special envoy to N. Korea, Stephen Bosworth, called "simply groundless" accusations by Pyongyang that its nuclear and rocket tests were in response to American aggression.

Despite repeated assurances from Washington, N. Korea has harbored deep-rooted suspicions that the U.S. could invade to topple its regime, AP reported. Washington officials have said the U.S. wants N. Korea to return to nuclear negotiations with the U.S., China, South Korea, Japan and Russia, known as the six-party talks.

Are we past talks?

Sources: CNN, The Associated Press, Getty Images, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

North Korea ups bully nuclear rhetoric

South Korean protesters burn a North Korean flag during a rally denouncing American journalists detained in North Korea, at a park in Seoul, South Korea, June 9. (AP Photo/Ahn Young-joon)

North Korea said Tuesday it would use nuclear weapons in a "merciless offensive" if provoked--its latest rhetoric apparently aimed at deterring any international punishment for its recent atomic test blast, AP/CBS News reported.

"Our nuclear deterrent will be a strong defensive means...as well as a merciless offensive means to deal a just retaliatory strike to those who touch the country's dignity and sovereignty even a bit," stated a commentary carried by the official Korean Central News Agency.

The current state of affairs reminds me of Bullies in the Sky, the headline of the first N. Korea story I reluctantly posted long before this mickey mouse trial and bogus conviction. At the time, I didn't even know about the arrests. If I had known, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to be so nice to N. Korea and its large tiny-dick male population.

My friends, my fans, my benefactors (there I go talking to myself again...): if you didn't understand the meaning of this blog's name, now you should.

The statement comes as the families of two American journalists sentenced to 12 years in a North Korean labor prison urged it's hard-line government to grant them clemency, amid hopes the U.S. government would send an envoy to negotiate their release.

Regarding journalists Euna Lee, 36, and Laura Ling, 32, it is possible North Korean President Kim Jong Il will "return to a nuclear freeze and the journalists would be freed if the U.S. and the U.N. present a package of incentives," CBS News Foreign Affairs Analyst Pamela Falk reported.

"Fourteen years ago, Kim Jong Il released a downed American pilot less than a week after President Clinton agreed to ship $2.5 billion in U.S. aid and oil," Falk reported. "North Korea is looking for concessions, and the Obama administration is presented with the same box as was President Bill Clinton and President George W. Bush--but now the government of Kim Jong Il is getting closer to being able to deliver a nuclear weapon and the stakes are higher."

CBS News correspondent Barry Petersen reports that Washington's options for negotiating with the communist regime are limited. The U.S. doesn't even have an embassy in the North, and now there is concern for the health of the two women.

The families' statement noted that Ling has a serious medical condition, a reference to her ulcer, and that Lee's 4-year-old daughter is showing "signs of anguish over the absence of her mother."

Lee and Ling, who work for former Vice President Al Gore's Current TV, were arrested March 17 near the China-North Korea border where they were reporting about the trafficking of women. It's unclear whether they tried to sneak into the North or if aggressive border guards crossed into Chinese territory and grabbed them, as has happened before.

Sources: The Associated Press, CBS News
Copyright © 2009

Tiny men with tiny dicks sentence U.S. journalists to 12 years in labor prison

Unbelievable, though expected.

I've been merciless with North Korea since my first story here about the missiles the communist country recently launched (Bullies in the Sky, May 27), so what can I possibly say now that these pricks have decided to show us how remarkably powerful they are by...

...harnessing the power of the Earth's core? Nope. Being the architects of world peace? Nope. Ending malaria and hunger in third-world countries? Nope. Building spaceships that can travel to distant galaxies free from the constraints of light speed? Nope. Jailing two female U.S. journalists for unspecified "grave crimes? Yup.

Yes, North Korea's top court has convicted reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee of "hostile acts" (what acts?) against the nation and illegally crossing into the North, and sentenced them to 12 years in labor prison, the country's state news agency reported Monday according to an AP report. Even rapists don't get that many years. WTF?

So we still don't know what "grave crime" or "hostile acts" they allegedly committed, and we still don't have proof that indeed they had crossed the border. So what did the prosecutors and judges do during this "trial"? Scratch their tiny balls with their pencils?

Lee (on the left) and Ling (right) cannot appeal as they were tried in North Korea's highest court where decisions are final. Nice touch.

"The trial confirmed the grave crime they committed against the Korean nation and their illegal border crossing as they had already been indicted and sentenced each of them to 12 years of reform through labor," state-run KCNA news agency said according to a BBC report.

The sentences are much harsher than what many observers had hoped for--which proves that observing and hoping in such cases is...let's see...useless?

The June 4-8 trial was not open to the public or to foreign observers. You know what? That's bullshit. Who's to say the little men with flimsy tiny dicks weren't playing Scrabble or some Korean card game while in the courtroom those four days?

The U.S. Embassy in Seoul said it had no immediate comment, AP reported.

The two journalists were arrested March 17 on the China-North Korean border while working on a report about the trafficking of women. It's unclear if they strayed into the North or were grabbed by aggressive border guards who crossed into China. The circumstances of the arrest have been shrouded in secrecy, as is typical of the reclusive nation, AP reported.

Some believe N. Korea will use the two women as bargaining chips in its standoff with South Korea and the U.S., which are pushing for U.N. sanctions to punish the nation for its latest nuclear blast and barrage of missile tests. We'll see...

The women's families have appealed for clemency and asked Pyongyang and Washington not to link the case to the current diplomatic stand-off between them, BBC reported.

I certainly hope--though hoping is futile, doing...doing is what it will take, except I'm not the one to do it--that it's not too late for someone more powerful, in other words, someone with a real dick, such as Hillary, to make a difference in this case. A minimum number of inches should be required to run a country, if you ask me.

Sources: The Associated Press, BBC, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

N. Korea says the South will trigger war

North Korea says it will retaliate against South Korea's decision to join a U.S.-led anti-proliferation program, noting S. Korea's decision to join the program would trigger a war on the Korean Peninsula.

It says South Korea will be "wholly accountable for the disastrous consequences as it has followed foreign forces."

*sigh*

I'm telling you--all they need are penile implants and end of story.

Source: BNO News

Bullies in the sky

Photo source: unknow North Korea appears to be preparing to test-fire its longest range missile. Photo: EPA

I don't normally follow war news. What for? It's the same old story, one that has been told continually since mankind appeared on this planet. Here's how that story goes: "I'm right. You're wrong. If you don't agree, I'll blow you up."

If we blow up, we blow up; if we don't, we don't. I don't need to hear the details to decide that war sucks. I don't need to know who said what when and how to be of the opinion that neither side is right or wrong in the absolute sense. That's just my opinion, of course. Feel free to disagree...

But, since we've been warned repeatedly that North Korea and not the Middle East would be the world's greatest threat "nuclearly" speaking, I figured I might as well post something, you know, for the record, in case we blow up.

In a nutshell: North Korea is huffing and puffing, displaying its military in all its glory hoping, we have to assume, to scare somebody.

North Korea warned South Korea and the United States on Wednesday that South Korea's participation in a U.S.-led program to intercept ships suspected of carrying weapons of mass destruction is equal to a declaration of war, AP reported.

How so very macho of them.

In a statement distributed by North Korea's Central News Agency, the North's military said it will respond with "immediate, strong military measures" against any attempt to stop and search North Korean ships under the Proliferation Security Initiative, according to AP's report. It added that it no longer considers itself bound by the armistice that ended the Korean War and accused the U.S., which signed the armistice, of "dragging" the South into the program under its "hostile policy" against the North, AP said.

North Korea also said it cannot guarantee safety for South Korean and U.S. navy ships sailing near the disputed western Korean sea border, according to the report.

Now, I'm really scared...Not!

South Korea announced its participation in the program Tuesday, one day after North Korea conducted a nuclear test, drawing international criticism, AP said. In other words: the shit started to sprinkle on the fan when them macho NK men launched five short-range missiles in two days, indicating it has restarted a weapons-grade nuclear plant.

Oh, I don't know, my friends...I read this stuff and in my mind I see a bunch of insecure bullies lining up in school hallways against locker-covered walls adjusting their tiny balls.

Sources: The Associated Press
Copyright © 2009, Primetime Oracle
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