Bullies in the water--U.S. tracks North Korean ship

Right: The U.S. military is tracking the North Korean ship shown here, called the Kang Nam. (Fox News photo)

The U.S. military is preparing for a possible intercept of a North Korean flagged ship suspected of proliferating weapons material in violation of a U.N. Security Council resolution, several news outlets reported Friday.

The N. Korean-flagged ship, identified as the Kang Nam, has carried "proliferation materials" in the past and is known to be a "repeat offender," CNN reported.

The USS John McCain destroyer is positioning itself in case it gets orders to intercept the Kang Nam as soon as it leaves the vicinity off the coast of China, Fox reported citing a senior U.S. defense official.

The U.N. resolution does not allow forcible boarding of a suspect N.Korean ship but allows for a permission request to search it, UPI reported. The resolution also allows for any country where the suspect ship docks to inspect it for any illicit items.

At a news conference Thursday, Adm. Michael Mullen, chairman of the U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff, said the U.S. would not forcibly board a N. Korean ship but would request permission to search it or press for its inspection at any port where it stops. He did not mention the ship's name.

An official who spoke to Reuters on condition of anonymity said the N. Korea-based ship became "a subject of interest" after leaving a N. Korean port on Wednesday. The ship appears to be heading toward Singapore, Fox reported citing the senior U.S. military source.

The Kang Nam is the first ship to be monitored under the U.N. sanctions adopted last week after N. Korea raised tensions by test-firing missiles, restarting a plant to produce arms-grade plutonium, and conducting a nuclear test.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Washington is also concerned about the possibility of N. Korea firing off more missiles, possibly in the direction of Hawaii, between July 4 and July 8.

"Without telegraphing what we will do, I would just say we are in a good position, should it become necessary, to protect American territory," he said.

In recent weeks, N. Korea has raised tensions in North Asia, responsible for one-sixth of the global economy, with missile launches, threats to attack the South, and the May 25 nuclear test that led to U.N. sanctions.

N. Korean companies might get blacklisted

Meanwhile, a U.N. sanctions committee is considering blacklisting more N. Korean companies and individuals for supporting its nuclear and missile programs, Reuters reported. The 15-nation Security Council gave the committee 30 days from last Friday to add new names to the sanctions list.

The sanctions are intended to target only companies and individuals that are connected to Pyongyang's nuclear weapons and missile programs. The committee blacklisted three North Korean firms in April for aiding those programs.

North Korea responded by saying it would take "firm military action" if the U.S. and its allies tried to isolate it.

Are they asking for it or what?

Did or did we not see this coming?

First were the bullies in the sky, now the water. What's next--land?

The shit is going to hit the fan if these fuckers continue heading in this direction without any indication of slowing down.

WTF are they doing? Why? And why now?

Surely they must have their reasons and a long-term plan that these tactics are serving, that is, unless they're total dunces acting 100% on impulse. As much as I don't want to give them any credit, I must admit I doubt that's the case.

I don't know enough about N. Korea (somebody please help me!) to even try to speculate about the political motives and what role this ship is playing in the bullies' scheme, but y'all know what I think is at the core of their angst. Do I need to say it again?

Fine. Tiny dicks.

Sources: Reuters, UPI, CNN, Fox News
Copyright © 2009

N. Koreans wave uranium-enriched tiny dicks

I'm definitely not in the mood for this, but I can't blow it off. How can we ignore words like uranium and plutonium--right?

It's not that I don't take the prospect of a nuclear war seriously; it's just that I think N. Korea is a bully with a runaway mouth. All it would take is one definite offensive move toward them, and they would crap their pants...if you ask me.

Nevertheless, you never know--right? Some trigger-happy or color-blind dude over there could press the red button instead of the green one and, poof, there we goes the world.

But this Oracle doesn't see that happening anytime soon.

Anyway...here's the latest on this model of democracy's bullying campaign.

North Korea responded to new U.N. sanctions with more defiance, promising Saturday to step up its nuclear bomb-making program by enriching uranium and threatening war on any country that dares to stop its ships on the high seas, AP reported.

North Korean officials with tiny dicks said they were enriching uranium and would weaponize all plutonium, according to KCNA, the state-run North Korean news agency, as reported by CNN.

The North's threats were the first public acknowledgment that the reclusive communist nation has been running a secret uranium enrichment program. Suspicions of the program touched off the latest nuclear crisis in 2002, AP reported.

The country also vowed never to give up its nuclear ambitions as a way to protect its sovereignty amid signs of preparations for naming its ailing leader Kim Jong Il's youngest son, Jong Un, as his successor.

"It has become an absolutely impossible option for [North Korea] to even think about giving up its nuclear weapons," the North's Foreign Ministry said in a statement carried by the country's official Korean Central News Agency, AP reported.

N. Korea also warned that any attempted blockade by the U.S. and its allies would be regarded as "an act of war and met with a decisive military response."

When enriched to a high degree, uranium can be used for weapons-grade material; plutonium can be used in atomic bombs.

N. Korea is believed to have about 110 pounds of plutonium, enough for a half dozen bombs, Yoon Deok-min, a professor at South Korea's state-run Institute of Foreign Affairs and National Security said according to the AP report. Reprocessing 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods stored at N. Korea's Yongbyon nuclear complex could yield an additional 18 to 22 pounds of plutonium—enough to make at least one more atomic bomb, he said.

The U.N. Security Council voted for a resolution imposing sanctions against N. Korea.

The U.N. Security Council unanimously voted Friday to expand and tighten sanctions on N. Korea after the nation's recent nuclear test. The 15-0 vote on U.N. Resolution 1874 imposes an embargo on the shipment of arms from the communist regime and broadens a ban on the import of weapons, CNN reported.

"No matter how hard the U.S.-led hostile forces may try all sorts of isolation and blockade, the DPRK [Democratic People's Republic of Korea], a proud nuclear power, will not flinch from them," KCNA said. Democratic my ass.

The resolution comes amid rising tension surrounding N. Korea, which last month conducted a nuclear test, fired test rockets and threatened U.S. and South Korean ships near its territorial waters. It strengthens provisions already in U.N. Resolution 1718, passed in 2006, but there are also new provisions in the resolution, said Susan E. Rice, U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

The new resolution requires states to "exercise vigilance" over the direct or indirect supply, sale or transfer to North Korea of small arms or light weapons, CNN reported.

The sanctions are aimed at depriving N. Korea of the financing used to build its rogue nuclear program. The resolution authorizes searches of N. Korean ships suspected of transporting illicit ballistic missile and nuclear materials, and prohibits nations from providing bunkering services, such as fuel, to N. Korean ships believed to be carrying contraband.

Late last month, two Defense Department officials said U.S. satellite imagery spotted "vehicle activity" at a N. Korean ballistic missile facility. The officials said the images showed vehicles used to transport Taepodong-2 missiles, but no missile parts. The Taepodong-2 is a long-range missile North Korea tested in April, CNN reported.

That test showed a significant improvement in range from N. Korea's initial long-range missile test in 2006.

This week, a U.S. official who was not authorized to speak on the record told CNN that Washington had "indications" that North Korea may be planning another test. The official would not provide any details, CNN reported.

U.S. President Barack Obama's special envoy to N. Korea, Stephen Bosworth, called "simply groundless" accusations by Pyongyang that its nuclear and rocket tests were in response to American aggression.

Despite repeated assurances from Washington, N. Korea has harbored deep-rooted suspicions that the U.S. could invade to topple its regime, AP reported. Washington officials have said the U.S. wants N. Korea to return to nuclear negotiations with the U.S., China, South Korea, Japan and Russia, known as the six-party talks.

Are we past talks?

Sources: CNN, The Associated Press, Getty Images, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

Tiny men with tiny dicks sentence U.S. journalists to 12 years in labor prison

Unbelievable, though expected.

I've been merciless with North Korea since my first story here about the missiles the communist country recently launched (Bullies in the Sky, May 27), so what can I possibly say now that these pricks have decided to show us how remarkably powerful they are by...

...harnessing the power of the Earth's core? Nope. Being the architects of world peace? Nope. Ending malaria and hunger in third-world countries? Nope. Building spaceships that can travel to distant galaxies free from the constraints of light speed? Nope. Jailing two female U.S. journalists for unspecified "grave crimes? Yup.

Yes, North Korea's top court has convicted reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee of "hostile acts" (what acts?) against the nation and illegally crossing into the North, and sentenced them to 12 years in labor prison, the country's state news agency reported Monday according to an AP report. Even rapists don't get that many years. WTF?

So we still don't know what "grave crime" or "hostile acts" they allegedly committed, and we still don't have proof that indeed they had crossed the border. So what did the prosecutors and judges do during this "trial"? Scratch their tiny balls with their pencils?

Lee (on the left) and Ling (right) cannot appeal as they were tried in North Korea's highest court where decisions are final. Nice touch.

"The trial confirmed the grave crime they committed against the Korean nation and their illegal border crossing as they had already been indicted and sentenced each of them to 12 years of reform through labor," state-run KCNA news agency said according to a BBC report.

The sentences are much harsher than what many observers had hoped for--which proves that observing and hoping in such cases is...let's see...useless?

The June 4-8 trial was not open to the public or to foreign observers. You know what? That's bullshit. Who's to say the little men with flimsy tiny dicks weren't playing Scrabble or some Korean card game while in the courtroom those four days?

The U.S. Embassy in Seoul said it had no immediate comment, AP reported.

The two journalists were arrested March 17 on the China-North Korean border while working on a report about the trafficking of women. It's unclear if they strayed into the North or were grabbed by aggressive border guards who crossed into China. The circumstances of the arrest have been shrouded in secrecy, as is typical of the reclusive nation, AP reported.

Some believe N. Korea will use the two women as bargaining chips in its standoff with South Korea and the U.S., which are pushing for U.N. sanctions to punish the nation for its latest nuclear blast and barrage of missile tests. We'll see...

The women's families have appealed for clemency and asked Pyongyang and Washington not to link the case to the current diplomatic stand-off between them, BBC reported.

I certainly hope--though hoping is futile, doing...doing is what it will take, except I'm not the one to do it--that it's not too late for someone more powerful, in other words, someone with a real dick, such as Hillary, to make a difference in this case. A minimum number of inches should be required to run a country, if you ask me.

Sources: The Associated Press, BBC, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009