N. Koreans wave uranium-enriched tiny dicks

I'm definitely not in the mood for this, but I can't blow it off. How can we ignore words like uranium and plutonium--right?

It's not that I don't take the prospect of a nuclear war seriously; it's just that I think N. Korea is a bully with a runaway mouth. All it would take is one definite offensive move toward them, and they would crap their pants...if you ask me.

Nevertheless, you never know--right? Some trigger-happy or color-blind dude over there could press the red button instead of the green one and, poof, there we goes the world.

But this Oracle doesn't see that happening anytime soon.

Anyway...here's the latest on this model of democracy's bullying campaign.

North Korea responded to new U.N. sanctions with more defiance, promising Saturday to step up its nuclear bomb-making program by enriching uranium and threatening war on any country that dares to stop its ships on the high seas, AP reported.

North Korean officials with tiny dicks said they were enriching uranium and would weaponize all plutonium, according to KCNA, the state-run North Korean news agency, as reported by CNN.

The North's threats were the first public acknowledgment that the reclusive communist nation has been running a secret uranium enrichment program. Suspicions of the program touched off the latest nuclear crisis in 2002, AP reported.

The country also vowed never to give up its nuclear ambitions as a way to protect its sovereignty amid signs of preparations for naming its ailing leader Kim Jong Il's youngest son, Jong Un, as his successor.

"It has become an absolutely impossible option for [North Korea] to even think about giving up its nuclear weapons," the North's Foreign Ministry said in a statement carried by the country's official Korean Central News Agency, AP reported.

N. Korea also warned that any attempted blockade by the U.S. and its allies would be regarded as "an act of war and met with a decisive military response."

When enriched to a high degree, uranium can be used for weapons-grade material; plutonium can be used in atomic bombs.

N. Korea is believed to have about 110 pounds of plutonium, enough for a half dozen bombs, Yoon Deok-min, a professor at South Korea's state-run Institute of Foreign Affairs and National Security said according to the AP report. Reprocessing 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods stored at N. Korea's Yongbyon nuclear complex could yield an additional 18 to 22 pounds of plutonium—enough to make at least one more atomic bomb, he said.

The U.N. Security Council voted for a resolution imposing sanctions against N. Korea.

The U.N. Security Council unanimously voted Friday to expand and tighten sanctions on N. Korea after the nation's recent nuclear test. The 15-0 vote on U.N. Resolution 1874 imposes an embargo on the shipment of arms from the communist regime and broadens a ban on the import of weapons, CNN reported.

"No matter how hard the U.S.-led hostile forces may try all sorts of isolation and blockade, the DPRK [Democratic People's Republic of Korea], a proud nuclear power, will not flinch from them," KCNA said. Democratic my ass.

The resolution comes amid rising tension surrounding N. Korea, which last month conducted a nuclear test, fired test rockets and threatened U.S. and South Korean ships near its territorial waters. It strengthens provisions already in U.N. Resolution 1718, passed in 2006, but there are also new provisions in the resolution, said Susan E. Rice, U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

The new resolution requires states to "exercise vigilance" over the direct or indirect supply, sale or transfer to North Korea of small arms or light weapons, CNN reported.

The sanctions are aimed at depriving N. Korea of the financing used to build its rogue nuclear program. The resolution authorizes searches of N. Korean ships suspected of transporting illicit ballistic missile and nuclear materials, and prohibits nations from providing bunkering services, such as fuel, to N. Korean ships believed to be carrying contraband.

Late last month, two Defense Department officials said U.S. satellite imagery spotted "vehicle activity" at a N. Korean ballistic missile facility. The officials said the images showed vehicles used to transport Taepodong-2 missiles, but no missile parts. The Taepodong-2 is a long-range missile North Korea tested in April, CNN reported.

That test showed a significant improvement in range from N. Korea's initial long-range missile test in 2006.

This week, a U.S. official who was not authorized to speak on the record told CNN that Washington had "indications" that North Korea may be planning another test. The official would not provide any details, CNN reported.

U.S. President Barack Obama's special envoy to N. Korea, Stephen Bosworth, called "simply groundless" accusations by Pyongyang that its nuclear and rocket tests were in response to American aggression.

Despite repeated assurances from Washington, N. Korea has harbored deep-rooted suspicions that the U.S. could invade to topple its regime, AP reported. Washington officials have said the U.S. wants N. Korea to return to nuclear negotiations with the U.S., China, South Korea, Japan and Russia, known as the six-party talks.

Are we past talks?

Sources: CNN, The Associated Press, Getty Images, My Twisted Mind
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