Stew of News -- Showbiz

OK, so I'm beyond behind today. It's already tomorrow! Still, I don't want to totally blow everything off, so, just as I intended this morning, I'll post the Stew.

Perez Hilton punched by Black Eyed Peas manager

When Perez Hilton was allegedly assaulted on Sunday night by the manager of Black Eyed Peas singer will.i.am and didn't get an immediate response from police, the famed celebrity blogger felt he had only one place to turn: the Internet, the LA Times reported Monday.

"When the police are taking their time and not coming, I am freaking out, I took to Twitter," Hilton explained on his website. "Because I was in shock and I felt helpless. That was my very public cry for help."

Oh, brother...so much drama...

Hilton said the dispute started during a dress rehearsal for the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto Saturday when Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie approached the blogger about his recent criticisms of the band's new album The E.N.D. After the ceremony on Sunday, will.i.am confronted Hilton at a nightclub. The altercation led to the band's manager, Liborio "Polo" Molina, allegedly hitting Hilton, the LA Times, EW, AP, TMZ, HLN and everyone else reported.

Above: Perez Hilton sporting a black eye and a tear after his altercation with Molina, on the left.

"I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards," Hilton tweeted at about 1 a.m. PDT Monday. "I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke."

Well, he probably was, though he tends to...you know...kinda, sort of blow things out of proportion.

By the morning, will.i.am had posted a video on his website Dipdive denying the charge and accusing Hilton, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, of seeking attention. Hilton posted his own video in response, an 11-minute-plus tirade full of tears and profanity in which he specified that he hadn't been directly assaulted by will.i.am, but by Molina, according to the reports.

Molina, 36, reportedly has been charged with assault and will have his first court hearing on Aug 5. In an interview with the LA Times on Monday, a lawyer for Hilton said the blogger is planning to sue "at least" Molina.

Courtroom drama!

"It's going to become a civil matter as quickly as I can type," attorney Bryan Freedman said. "This is certainly about showing Mr. Molina and will.i.am that violence is not the answer." The attorney said it "seems pretty apparent" will.i.am encouraged the altercation.

Hilton has increasingly become the subject of news lately, most notably when he asked then-Miss California USA Carrie Prejean for her view on same-sex marriage during the Miss USA pageant telecast in April.

Brown avoids jail time for beating Rhianna

R&B singer Chris Brown stroke a plea deal today that will keep him out of jail for the brutal beating of girlfriend Rhianna in February.

The fact that Brown will come out of this without spending a single day in jail is pissing off a lot of people, among them CNN's Nancy Grace, who's never better than when she's outraged about something. Kudos to Nancy.

Brown plead guilty to one count of felony assault in the beating (to a pulp) of Rhianna. He entered his plea right before a preliminary hearing in which Rhianna was scheduled to testify. Oh...

According to the terms of the plea agreement, instead of facing a sentence of up to five years in prison, he got five years probation, 180 hours of community service (a.k.a. taking out the trash), domestic violence counseling, and an order to stay away from Rhianna by at least 50 yards. WTF?

Jon and Kate are separating and heading for divorce--duh

Media outlets seeking ratings are calling it a "bombshell" and "shocking news." Are you fucking kidding me?

That was the "big" announcement about "their lives" that was revealed during tonight's episode of Jon & Kate plus 8, the TLC reality series that follows the Gosselins and their set of twins and sextuplets.

How is that news? News would be that they're reconciling, don't you think? News would be Kate showing up with long, curly, red hair extensions. News would be Jon actually talking...uttering more than one sentence at a time.

Photo: The good old days...

Kate said they're doing it in the name of "peace"; Jon said it's because they can't be "cordial" to each other. Kate claims that Jon is very angry with her and won't even talk to her about the decisions he's making. Jon claims...what did he claim? Did he even say anything?

If they aren't talking, how the heck are they reaching agreements about separation and divorce? Lawyers and agents, I suppose. Who would've thought...

I feel bad for everyone involved, especially the kids. Yet, at least they're a big bunch and they have each other. Perhaps that will compensate for the lack of presence of one parent or the other.

I'm sticking to my theory: it all went south when Jon got more hair and Kate turned up with less. Hair alterations = marriage alterations, if you ask me.

Sources: HLN, LA Times, EW, TMZ, AP, My Twisted Mind
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