Heidi wasn't tortured on TV show--we were

Photo: No fucking comment

After many fake departures, Heidi and Spencer Pratt--a.k.a. Speidi--finally left the I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! reality TV show Monday night, this time not because the devil made them do it but because of illness.

Heidi left the Costa Rican jungle Saturday when she was hospitalized for a gastric ulcer after spending 14 hours in the "Lost Chamber," a room full of spiders to which the couple was sentenced as part of their punishment for quitting the show last week. At the hospital, Speidi decided to finally declare defeat in the competition, meaning their cast mates would not get to vote on whether or not the couple could stay.

The IQ-impaired pair left the show last week but later reconsidered, claiming the devil made them quit.

They did, too! Check out the June 4 story "The Devil Made Us Do It!"

They returned to the island with a new found faith in God, telling stories about vomiting out the devil's influence.

I swear to god I'm not making this up.

Speidi might be gone, but the couple will be represented by Heidi's sister, Holly Montag, who reportedly joins the cast Wednesday.

Meanwhile, as if news of vomiting the devil didn't generate enough publicity, Heidi's rep confirmed told US magazine Monday that she wasn't tortured on the set of the show.

Tortured? WTF?

"There have been many reports that surfaced over the weekend regarding Spencer and Heidi Pratt. Many of these reports are false and inaccurate, including any reports of 'torture' on the show," the rep said.

Well, I must be out of the loop cuz I didn't see anything about Heidi being tortured...but, then again, I normally pay not attention to the Pratts. I just couldn't resist the devil thing--it was impossible to ignore.

Apparently, it was Spencer's sister, Stephanie, who brought up the issue of torture on an update she posted on Twitter: "I'm really saddened to hear that NBC felt it was OK to punish Speidi [she, too, calls them Speidi!] so harshly and torture them as if they were criminals--that Heidi was...rushed to the hospital and has an IV in her arm after being locked in a dark room for 3 days with no food or water. Pls pray she will be OK."

From that to reports of torture is a leap. But things tend to leap in the jungle...

In any case, it would be difficult to come up with crazy shit like this without some sort of divine inspiration, so perhaps god was involved after all. I pray that the folks at Saturday Night Live will know what to do.

Sources: US magazine, Ledger-Enquirer.com, My Twisted Mind
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