Sunday, July 19, 2009

Houston, we have plumbing problem


Sorry, I saw the headline and couldn't resist. (Meant to post it hours ago, but better late than sorry.)

Can you imagine being trapped in a snug space station with recycled ventilation and a flooded toilet?

Eew!

One of two commodes (commodes? I didn't think that word was still in use these days) aboard the International Space Station malfunctioned Sunday right when two crews were performing complex robotic work, AP reported. The pump separator (whatever that is) apparently flooded.

Houston, we have a problem...

Mission Control advised the astronauts to hang an "out of service" sign on the toilet. (Is this a joke?)

Thank god for Mission Control! Just imagine what would've happened if anyone other than the crew tried to use the toilet...you know...visitors.

Meanwhile, the space station residents had to get in line to use one functioning toilet, and space shuttle Endeavour's seven astronauts were restricted to the shuttle bathroom, AP reported, noting that there have never been so many people in space.

Um...13 people and two toilets open 24-7 a long line does not make...if you ask me...unless they're brewing their on bruski up there.

The toilet repair work fell to Belgian Frank De Winne, who had to don goggles, gloves and a mask. LOL!

Pictures! Pictures! Where are the pictures of this spacial, international, orbital, excremental unprecedented event?

Flight director Brian Smith declined to speculate whether overuse caused the toilet trouble, AP reported. He "declined to speculate"? The seriousness of this report is strangely funny. You'd think the shuttle blew up.

"We don't yet know the extent of the problem," Smith told reporters. "It may turn out to be of no consequence at all. It could turn out to be significant. It's too early to tell right now."

Do keep us updated lest we walk outside unaware that turds are falling from the sky.

Teams of specialists in Houston and Moscow hurriedly convened to discuss the problem, AP reported. Specialists ... hurriedly ... convened...

OMG! Call the President!

The Russian-built, multimillion-dollar toilet flew up on a shuttle last November.

OK, I get that this toilet is "special," engineered to work in tight quarters and unusual conditions in space, so it's bound to cost more than a few bucks. But, millions of dollars? Seems overpriced--doesn't it? Must be because the government is footing the bill..

Smith said there is no urgency to the bathroom situation, at least for now, AP reported. But he said if the toilet remains out of action for several days, "then we'll readdress the situation and see what we have to do."

I'll tell you what to do--duck tape. It fixes everything--doesn't it?

Going into this mission, NASA wanted at least four of Endeavour's crew to use the space station's bathrooms, so the shuttle waste water tank would not fill up.

Eew!

As long as Endeavour is docked to the space station, it cannot eject any waste water.

Eew! WTF? I told ya--meteorturd.

According to the report, the nozzle (nozzle?) is located near the newly installed porch (porch?) on the Japanese lab; the attach mechanisms for experiments could corrode if sprayed by water (water or urine?). Talk about acid rain...

Two bathrooms are needed for a full station crew of six, and Smith said he did not know how long six occupants could rely on a single toilet. (Uh, oh.)

Both the shuttle and station are equipped with other ways for the astronauts to relieve themselves, Smith said, including Apollo-era urine collection bags. (What about the poop? What do they use? Sandwich bags?)

It cannot be fun to have your visceral habits ... you know, details such as volume and frequency ... discussed by no other than rocket scientists at Mission Control and published in the press.

Can they ever have a mission without mishaps?

By the way, in case you've had your head under a rock during the past week, today is the 40th anniversary of man's first moon landing, when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon July 20, 1969.

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