Sick Fuck of the Week

So it's that time again...time to recognize the work of the evil or deranged...or both...a.k.a. sick fucks.

Although the biggest crime story this week continued to be the slaying of the turbo-adopting parents near Pensacola, Florida, I'm not inclined to bestow the Sick Fuck of the Week award upon the eight people involved because, in all honesty, what they deserve is a dumb fuck or stupid fuck award.

It took them a month of pseudo-ninja training with a Rambo-wanna-be sick fuck who teaches self-defense to children (of all things...) to be able to "break into" (the door was unlocked) a house, shoot the Billings point blank (um...why?) and steal a safe with nothing but documents, the kids' prescription medications and some jewelry "of sentimental value" (that is, nothing fancy). Genius.

These imbeciles trained as though they were breaking into the White House just to rob a Florida house with eight or nine children in it, a 66-year-old man with no history of violence and a 43-year-old loving mother of 17. WTF?

How much military training and rehearsing do you need to walk into a house and shoot a couple while they sleep?


Furthermore, by killing the Billings these trigger-happy ninjas added first-degree murder charges to what would've amounted to home invasion and armed robbery.

I'll tell you what these morons must've done for their so-called training: ringleader Leonard Gonzalez Jr. plugged them into warfare video games matrix-like for a month-long warm-up slaying animated soldiers, ninja fighters and zombies with no consequence, hoping to grow their testicles for nothing but an "operation" that one of Gonzalez's self-defense students could've carried out with half his brain tied behind the back. Stupid fucks.

As if that weren't enough, after all that preparation, one of these boneheads forgot or failed to disable the house's video surveillance system, and their intricate (not!) undertaking was caught on tape.

As a result, I have no choice but to award the Sick--no--Dumb Fuck of the Week award to the eight suspects in the Billings double murder case.

All that ninja training will go down the drain, literally, when they meet a bar of soap and inmates Bubba, Billy Bob, Bobby Joe, Dwayne, Jim Bob, Roy, Tyler, Betty Jo and Martha Mae at the showers...if you ask me.

From top left, Leonard Patrick Gonzalez Jr., Leonard Patrick Gonzalez Sr., Wayne Thomas Coldiron, Gary Lamont Sumner, a juvenile whom police did not identify; Frederick Lee Thorton Jr., 19; and Donnie Ray Stallworth, 28. (AP Photo/Escambia Sheriff's Department)


Real estate agent Pamela Laverne Long, left, was charged with accessory after the fact in the murders of Byrd and Melanie Billings near Pensacola, Florida. (Okaloosa Sheriff's Office/AP)

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