FLASH NEWS - Swine flu, Palin-Letterman war, neo-nazi gunman, flight 447, MySpace jobs

WHO Declares 'Moderate' Swine Flu Pandemic

The World Health Organization raised its pandemic flu alert to phase 6, its highest level, urging countries to shore up defenses against the swine flu virus.

"At this time, the global assessment is that we are seeing a moderate pandemic," WHO Director-General Dr. Margaret Chan told reporters on a teleconference.

The move to phase 6 reflects the fact that the disease, widely known as swine flu, is spreading geographically, but does not indicate how virulent it is, Reuters reported.

A unanimous decision was based on an overall assessment in the eight most heavily hit countries--Australia, Britain, Canada, Chile, Japan, Mexico, Spain and the U.S.--where the virus is spreading in a sustained way in communities.

"Moving to pandemic phase six level does not imply we will see an increase in the number of deaths or very severe cases," she noted. "Quite on the contrary. Many people are having mild disease, they recover without medicines in some cases and it is good news," she said.

The WHO reiterated its advice to its 193 member countries not to close borders or impose travel restrictions to halt the movement of people, goods and services.

Neo-Nazi Gunman Charged with Murder

Authorities are charging an 88-year-old white supremacist with first-degree murder in the shooting death of a guard at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial and Museum Wednesday.

A complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Washington Thursday accuses James W. Von Brunn of the premeditated murder of Security Guard Stephen T. Johns, AP reported.

Right: At a news conference Thursday, D.C. Police Chief Cathy Lanier says James von Brunn will be charged with murder. (CNN photo)

A ranking FBI official said authorities also are pursuing a hate crime charge against the racist dirtbag.

An affidavit filed in court said officers recovered a notebook from Von Brunn's car that had handwritten notations signed by James W. Von Brunn stating the following:

“You want my weapons--this is how you’ll get them. The Holocaust is a lie. Obama was created by Jews. Obama does what his Jew owners tell him to do. Jews captured America’s money. Jews control the mass media. The 1st Amendment is abrogated--henceforth. See: holywesternempire.org. JVB swore (LT USNR) to defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Jews–Bolsheviks–Zionist are America’s enemies. See: Talmud–Sanhedrin 'Kill the Best Gentiles!'”

Palin and Letterman Fight Over Jokes

The tiff began on Monday night's "Late Show," when Letterman joked that during the 7th inning of the Yankees game, Palin's "daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez." Letterman followed up with more barbs on Tuesday, joking that "the toughest part of Palin's visit was keeping Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter," Extra reported.

On Wednesday morning, Gov. Palin unloaded and said Letterman's jokes about her daughter were "disgusting" and "sexually perverted." Palin has three daughters; teen mom Bristol, 18, and Willow 14, and Piper, 8.

On Wednesday, Dave announced on his show that his jokes on the Palin family were "unpleasant" and "ugly" and said he would love to have the Governor as a guest on "Late Night."

"These are not jokes made about her 14-year-old daughter. I would never, never make jokes about raping or having sex of any description with a 14-year-old girl," he said.

Left: Sarah Palin and David Letterman (Getty Images/Extra composite photo)

"Maybe these are questionable because the girl who actually, excuse me, but was knocked up is now 18 years old. So, the difference there is 14-year-old and of legal age--okay, I can't really defend the joke. I agree. Unpleasant. Ugly."

Dave said Gov. Palin is a "lovely woman" and he would love to have her on the show.

The Palins released a statement in response: "The Palins have no intention of providing a ratings boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show. Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman."

"Laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/N.Y. entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands--that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others," Palin added.

Flight 447 "Survivor" Killed in Car Crash

An Italian woman who missed Air France Flight 447, which crashed in the Atlantic on May 31, has died in a car crash, several news sources reported

Johanna Ganthaler, a pensioner from Bolzano-Bozen province who had been vacationing in Brazil, died when a car she was riding in "veered across a road in Kufstein, Austria, and swerved into an oncoming truck. Her husband was seriously injured."

All 228 people aboard died after the plane crashed into the Atlantic four hours into its 11-hour flight from Rio de Janeiro to Paris.

MySpace Running out of Space for Jobs

MySpace is about to hand pink slips to some 300 to 500 employees, multiple sources close to the company told TechCrunch.com.

It’s unclear if these numbers apply to MySpace alone or its parent company Fox Interactive Media, but MySpace makes up around 1600 of the 2900 employees in FIM, so it’s likely that the social network will be hit hard, TechCrunch reported.

Last summer MySpace laid off 5% of its staff, and as many as 45 employees were let go last month. These cuts go far deeper. We’ve heard that the company’s legal team is hammering out the paperwork that will need to be submitted to the state of California under the WARN act, which requires large companies to give advance notice of any major layoffs, TechCrunch reported. We’ve contacted the California Employment Development Department, which has yet to receive the filing, but we hear they should be getting it any day now.

A FIM spokesperson replied with the following statement:

“Like any company with new leadership, Fox Interactive Media is reviewing every aspect of our operations, performance and structure. It’s no secret that we are looking for ways to improve our products, increase the value of our digital assets, and enhance the overall financial strength of the company.”

Why the cuts? MySpace traffic is plummeting, and revenue is going to take a huge hit when the Google deal terminates in mid 2010. MySpace already has an uphill battle on its hands as it vies to compete with Facebook, and it’s no longer going to have that very lucrative revenue stream to lean on, TechCrunch reported.

Sources: Reuters, AP, Extra, US mag., BBC, BNO, TechCrunch.com
Copyright © 2009

Jew hater opens fire in Holocaust museum

I've been avoiding this story all day. I'm not sure why.

Maybe I'm sick of racist sociopaths with guns. I mean, what else is new? Another Jew-hating psycho.

But we're approaching the end of the day, and as my fear of commitment to the story wanes I find that my desire to add this prick to the list of nominees for this week's Sick Fuck of the Week Award is greater than my ambivalence, so here we go.

In a nutshell: an 88-year-old white supremacist armed with a rifle opened fire at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C., killing a security guard and unleashing hours of panic before he was shot by two other guards. Last I heard he was in a hospital in critical condition. (Police photo of James von Brunn)

That's because we're civilized. Otherwise, what would be the point of saving an 88-year-old sick fuck who opens fire on men, women and children hoping to murder some Jews because of a deeply ingrained belief system that couldn't possibly be "adjusted" or rehabilitated if he lived to be a thousand years old?

You think I'm being too harsh or negative? Read on.

James von Brunn--wow...a von-something...I've always wanted to be a squeaky clean von-something...not!--has an anti-Semitic website called Holy Western Empire and wrote a book in 2002 entitled "Kill the Best Gentiles!"

The website apparently has been removed by the authorities (I'm assuming for investigation purposes), but below is an excerpt from the book posted by Anderson Cooper of CNN where von Brunn explains what he calls the "American myth" of equality, which he claims Jews fabricated to disguise the reality that "Men and races are NOT created equal."

The “American myth” (created by JEWS) alleging our Founding Fathers intended that all races, from pygmy to Ainu, be invited to our shores, is based on Thomas Jefferson’s words in the Declaration of Independence: “…all men are created equal.” The meaning of this much quoted statement has been distorted by the ILLUMINATI which subjectively is re-writing history and wielding the alleged “HOLOCAUST” like a battle-ax at the heads of those proclaiming genetic certainties: Men and races are NOT created equal.

Jefferson’s statement can be understood only in context of his Era. Our Founding Fathers were Aryans, men of good breeding who understood, empirically, the great differences existing between strains of horses; strains of live-stock; races of men; and between individuals: knowledge confirmed today by the natural sciences of Genetics, Eugenics, and Anthropology. Hitler, as American boobs are beginning to learn, was not all wrong.

This Annapolis, Md., bigot killed Stephen Johns, 39, a six-year employee of the museum, which has been a target of at least one domestic terrorism threat in 2002, when two lovely members of white supremacist groups plotted to build a fertilizer bomb, like the one used to destroy an Oklahoma City federal building, to blow up the Holocaust museum and incite a race war.

Ironically, I bumped into a white supremacist forum last week while researching forum directories, and I decided to take a look at it out of curiosity.

I landed on a thread about relationships and the importance of making sure they don't date anyone who is not 100% white scientifically speaking. They research multiple generations and even take DNA tests to prove their supremacy with precision. Anyone whose blood has the slightest chance of being polluted by an ancestor of another race, be that Jewish, Asian, African American, Arab, Native American, Hispanic, you name it, is a non-person, an untouchable, scum.

What really impressed me was their confidence that they themselves are pure, even though anthropologists tell us that Africa gave birth to mankind. Although that's one of a number of theories, worldwide human population genetics do point to Africa as the origin of man.

Which means that white supremacists, neo-nazis, Aryan nationalists, odinists, white power skinheads, along with the rest of the world, are Africans.

Peace.

Sources: CNN's AC360, AP, USA Today, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

Trump to Miss Calilfornia: You're Fired!

I can just picture him: "You're beautiful, smart, but for now, Carrie, [hits desk, points finger] you're fired."

Yes, beauty queen Carrie Prejean has lost her crown.

Pageant officials said Wednesday the 22-year-old Miss California and Miss USA runner-up was fired because of continued breach of contract issues.

"This was a decision based solely on contract violations including Ms. Prejean's unwillingness to make appearances on behalf of the Miss California USA organization," executive director Keith Lewis said in a statement.

"After our press conference in New York we had hoped we would be able to forge a better working relationship. However, since that time it has become abundantly clear that Carrie is unwilling to fulfill her obligations under our contract and work together."

Miss USA co-owner Donald Trump--who saved the pro-"opposite sex" marriage, breast-bearing-citing-wardrobe-malfunction evangelical Christian from losing her crown last month after semi-nude photos of her made public--did not step in to save her this time.

"I told Carrie she needed to get back to work and honor her contract with the Miss California USA Organization and I gave her the opportunity to do so," Trump said in the statement. "Unfortunately it just doesn't look like it is going to happen and I offered Keith my full support in making this decision. Carrie is a beautiful young woman and I wish her well as she pursues her other interests."

Not surprisingly, news of her firing had led to yet more controversy.

She reportedly missed several pageant events, received a warning and eventually promised to be a good girl. Those defending her claim that since "communication" was restored with the organization, she has been doing her job, meeting every obligation and attending every event for which she has been scheduled. Others are saying she publicly blasted the pageant folks during the speaking engagements. And there are those who claim that breach of contract is just an excuse to get rid of what turned out to be a rude and combative representative of the Miss USA organization.

"This is all kind of a big shock," Charles Limandri, Carrie's lawyer, said in a statement. "We've been working with Mr. Trump's office; she's been doing all the speaking engagements she's been asked to do. It is not true that she has not been cooperating....Something is going on," he said. "Truth is not being told. I don't understand where this is coming from, or why."

Miss California runner-up Tami Farrell will immediately take over the crown and Carrie's responsibilities as Miss California, the pageant organization said. The current Miss USA Kristen Dalton and Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza will also lend a hand in making appearances.

Carrie's answer to a question about same-sex marriage asked by celebrity gossip blogger and gay activist Perez Hilton, who served as one of the judges at the April 19 Miss USA pageant, sparked controversy and attracted tons of media coverage in the weeks after the pageant.

Initially, she was criticized for saying she lost the pageant because of her conservative views that marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman. Then, just when that controversy was dying down, her nipple made an appearance--and we know how Americans fear The Nipple.

The semi-nude pictures (I know, how original...I'm ready for a serial killer or gender-bending winner to be stripped of her crown) reportedly were shot for an ad campaign, and she claimed the photographer took advantage of her by shooting a few frames when the wind shifted her vest just enough to reveal a nipple.

This reminds me of Janet Jackson's infamous nipple, which made a surprise appearance because of yet another "wardrobe malfunction" (they denied it was planned...of course) during the halftime show of Super Bowl 2004 when she took the stage with singer Justin Timberlake, who at the end of a song ripped a piece of cloth off Jackson's right breast, revealing a partially covered nipple for nine sixteenths of a second. Wardrobe malfunction my ass. There was a public outcry and parents were traumatized because they didn't know what to tell their kids about The Nipple.

Nipplegate led to an immediate crackdownon indecency in broadcasting and to a record $550,000 fine levied by the FCC against CBS as well as an increase of the FCC fine per indecency violation from $27,500 to $325,000.

What I found interesting about Carrie's photos was not the nipple they showed but the underlying hypocrisy they revealed.

Isn't it two-faced to denounce same-sex marriage because of what the bible states about homosexuality but be OK with posing semi-nude for pictures whose only possible purpose is to arouse feelings of lust, which according to the bible is a sin?

The good news is that regardless of the controversy they generated, neither her views on marriage nor her nipple led to her dethroning. And I for one am glad about that.

(Dedicated to my #1--and likely only--fan: Walter. Hi Wally!)

Sources: ABC News, CNN, L.A. Times, TMZ, EW.com
Copyright © 2009

Woman mistakenly junks $1 million mattress

An Israeli woman mistakenly threw out a mattress she says had almost $1 million inside, setting off a frantic search through tons of garbage at a number of landfill sites on Wednesday, AP reported.

The woman sought to surprise her elderly mother with a new mattress Monday and in the process surprised herself even more by forgetting she had hidden her life savings inside the old mattress. She remembered this minute detail the next day.

"I woke up in the morning screaming, when it hit me what happened," the Tel Aviv woman, who asked not to be identified, told AP.

I would be screaming too.

She went to look for the mattress, but it had already been hauled away by garbage collectors, she said. Searches at three different landfill sites turned up nothing, AP reported.

Losing that money totally sucks, but looking for it really stinks--literally.

She said the money was in U.S. dollars and Israeli shekels, but she refused to say how she acquired such a large sum. "It was all my money in the world," she said.

Then how could she forget it? I mean, how does one forget $1 million?

Yitzhak Borba, the dump manager, told Army Radio that his staff was helping the woman, saying she appeared "totally desperate." In other words, she was freaking out.

He said the mattress was hard to find among the 2,500 tons of garbage that arrives at the site every day. Security was increased at the site to keep would-be treasure hunters away.

The woman said the money had been stashed in a mattress because she had had "traumatic experiences with banks" in the past. She would not elaborate, AP reported.

Well, she's now having traumatic experiences with mattresses and landfills.

In the U.S., investigators have found bodies in landfills in a matter of days several months after the bodies have been dumped. They follow the trail from the killers to the dumpsters to the trucks that picked up the trash at those dumpsters to their routes and where they dumped their contents on the days in question. If they can do this months after the fact, couldn't this woman and whoever is helping her find a freaking mattress (which does not decompose like bodies do) the day after it was taken?

I'm thinking either trash collecting is a bit disorganized over there or someone thought the mattress looked good enough to sleep on. Little does that person know he/she is a millionaire.

I do hope she finds her money; otherwise, she could potentially wake up screaming every day for the rest of her life--that is, if she gets to sleep at all, as I'm betting $1 million is not all she's losing these days.

It goes to show that a new mattress does not automatically mean better sleep, if you ask me.

Sources: The Associated Press, NPR News, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

Singles--move to the East, move to the West!

The U.S. Census has created a list that reveals the best cities in the U.S. for singles of either sex. We've divided it by best cities to male and single and best cities to be female and single…just remember…the best city for one sex, makes it the worst city for the other sex

Best for Men

New York Metro: Single Women outnumber men by 210,000. No wonder the New York Yankees players have so much luck with the ladies.

Washington D.C. and Philadelphia: Over 50,00 more single men than women. With all those fancy dates Obama keeps throwing Michelle…no guy can possible measure up.

Best for Women

Los Angeles: Nearly 90,000 more unmarried men than women…that would explain the scene last weekend at Teddy’s…dudes a plenty. No wonder Paris loves Los Angeles.

San Francisco: 65,000 more single men that women. It’s possible there’s a little more going on than the census reveals in that state.

Source: RyanSeacrest. com
Copyright © 2009

North Korea ups bully nuclear rhetoric

South Korean protesters burn a North Korean flag during a rally denouncing American journalists detained in North Korea, at a park in Seoul, South Korea, June 9. (AP Photo/Ahn Young-joon)

North Korea said Tuesday it would use nuclear weapons in a "merciless offensive" if provoked--its latest rhetoric apparently aimed at deterring any international punishment for its recent atomic test blast, AP/CBS News reported.

"Our nuclear deterrent will be a strong defensive means...as well as a merciless offensive means to deal a just retaliatory strike to those who touch the country's dignity and sovereignty even a bit," stated a commentary carried by the official Korean Central News Agency.

The current state of affairs reminds me of Bullies in the Sky, the headline of the first N. Korea story I reluctantly posted long before this mickey mouse trial and bogus conviction. At the time, I didn't even know about the arrests. If I had known, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to be so nice to N. Korea and its large tiny-dick male population.

My friends, my fans, my benefactors (there I go talking to myself again...): if you didn't understand the meaning of this blog's name, now you should.

The statement comes as the families of two American journalists sentenced to 12 years in a North Korean labor prison urged it's hard-line government to grant them clemency, amid hopes the U.S. government would send an envoy to negotiate their release.

Regarding journalists Euna Lee, 36, and Laura Ling, 32, it is possible North Korean President Kim Jong Il will "return to a nuclear freeze and the journalists would be freed if the U.S. and the U.N. present a package of incentives," CBS News Foreign Affairs Analyst Pamela Falk reported.

"Fourteen years ago, Kim Jong Il released a downed American pilot less than a week after President Clinton agreed to ship $2.5 billion in U.S. aid and oil," Falk reported. "North Korea is looking for concessions, and the Obama administration is presented with the same box as was President Bill Clinton and President George W. Bush--but now the government of Kim Jong Il is getting closer to being able to deliver a nuclear weapon and the stakes are higher."

CBS News correspondent Barry Petersen reports that Washington's options for negotiating with the communist regime are limited. The U.S. doesn't even have an embassy in the North, and now there is concern for the health of the two women.

The families' statement noted that Ling has a serious medical condition, a reference to her ulcer, and that Lee's 4-year-old daughter is showing "signs of anguish over the absence of her mother."

Lee and Ling, who work for former Vice President Al Gore's Current TV, were arrested March 17 near the China-North Korea border where they were reporting about the trafficking of women. It's unclear whether they tried to sneak into the North or if aggressive border guards crossed into Chinese territory and grabbed them, as has happened before.

Sources: The Associated Press, CBS News
Copyright © 2009

Picasso drawings stolen from museum

Someone walks past the display case from where a sketchbook of drawings by Pablo Picasso was stolen. (AFP Photo)

A sketchbook of 32 drawings by Pablo Picasso valued at $11 million has been stolen from a Paris museum, police said Tuesday.

Thieves seized the sketchbook from an unlocked glass case at the National Picasso Museum in central Paris where officials discovered it missing on Tuesday morning, AFP reported.

I don't understand. How is it possible that an $11 million item was displayed in an UNLOCKED glass case? And how is it possible for anyone to sneak into a museum housing Picasso works? In this day and age of endless high-tech security options, not to mention security guards, I just don't understand.

Police said there were no signs of a break-in nor was the alarm set off at the Picasso museum, which houses more than 250 paintings, 160 sculptures and 1,500 drawings by the Spanish artist.

It suggested that the theft may have been a professional job.

Nah...really?

"It was kept in a closed glass casing that could only have been opened using special tools," a ministry statement said.

A hammer would do...but wasn't the case unlocked?

A police source said the theft took place some time between Monday night and early Tuesday and described security at the museum housed in a 17th-century mansion as lax, AFP reported.

Given the value of the items housed by that museum, it's hard to believe--and would be inexcusable, if you ask me--that security there was lax. We're talking Picasso here, for crying out loud...

The sketchbook was stolen from a first-floor exhibition room at the museum located in Paris's fashionable Marais district.

A temporary exhibition by French artist Daniel Buren featuring a large mirror hanging from several rooms at the Picasso museum may have also weakened security, according to investigators. The huge work may have hindered surveillance of the collection at the museum which has also been undergoing renovation over the past months, AFP reported.

The French culture ministry said the 33 crayon drawings dated from 1917 to 1924 and were contained in a medium-sized sketchbook with a red cover marked with the inscription "Album" in gold color, AFP reported.

An official from the French police force specialized in art theft that has been tasked with the investigation told AFP that the drawings could easily be sold on the market for several million euros.

"They can find a buyer," he said.

Well...duh.

Works by Spanish painter Pablo Picasso, one of the most important artists of the 20th century, fetch record prices at auctions and are a favorite target of art thieves.

Exactly, which why it's mind boggling that this sketchbook was stolen.

Sources: AFP
Copyright © 2009

Adam Lambert comes out, signs record deal

"I don't think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I'm gay."

There. Adam Lambert finally said it in his highly anticipated Rolling Stone cover, which is great because that means no more "keep speculating" stories.

The American Idol runner-up reveals that he put off the topic of his sexuality for so long because he just wanted to make sure he came out in the coolest way possible...

"Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, 'I'm going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler,' " he says in the issue out this Friday. "I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context."

Wise move. Celebrity magazines don't let you get as creative with the crotch snakes and butterflies on their covers.

He also explains why he didn't come out while the show was airing, especially after photos of him in drag making out with dudes started to surface:

"I was worried that [coming out] would be so sensationalized that it would overshadow what I was there to do, which was sing. I'm an entertainer, and who I am and what I do in my personal life is a separate thing. It shouldn’t matter. Except it does. It's so confusing."

And after all the explanations are through, he declares: "I'm proud of my sexuality. I embrace it. It's just another part of me."

Lambert was raised in San Diego and currently lives in Los Angeles and confesses that the recent controversy over Proposition 8 is something that hit close to home. "This civil rights movement is near to my heart... I'm not asking to get married in your church, but you don't have any right to tell me I can't do it."

Lambert--who has been dubbed "Glambert" for his show-stopping outfits, heavy guyliner and black nail polish--quickly earned the favor of the judges on "Idol" and amassed a huge following because of his stellar voice and enigmatic stage presence.

As for the rest of his American Idol experience, something a psychedelic trip on "certain funguses" at Burning Man inspired him to pursue, two kinda awesome things have come from it.

First, he figured out he likes himself: "I'm finally checked in to my self-worth for the first time in my life, and the fact that it has coincided with Idol is so sweet."

And second, he signed a record deal, which is almost as shocking as his Rolling Stone announcement. 19 Entertainment and RCA Recordings announced today that they signed Lambert, whose debut record is expected this Fall.

"I'm thrilled that we've come to a creative and collaborative partnership and look forward to developing a really exciting album," Lambert says in a press release. "We are 100 percent on the same page and are all anxiously awaiting the start of the recordings. It's going to be ridiculous! Get Ready!!!"

A record deal and Rolling Stone cover on the same day? It's like he told the music mag, "Now I'm in a waking dream."

Sources: E! Online, ExtraTV
Copyright © 2009

Heidi wasn't tortured on TV show--we were

Photo: No fucking comment

After many fake departures, Heidi and Spencer Pratt--a.k.a. Speidi--finally left the I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! reality TV show Monday night, this time not because the devil made them do it but because of illness.

Heidi left the Costa Rican jungle Saturday when she was hospitalized for a gastric ulcer after spending 14 hours in the "Lost Chamber," a room full of spiders to which the couple was sentenced as part of their punishment for quitting the show last week. At the hospital, Speidi decided to finally declare defeat in the competition, meaning their cast mates would not get to vote on whether or not the couple could stay.

The IQ-impaired pair left the show last week but later reconsidered, claiming the devil made them quit.

They did, too! Check out the June 4 story "The Devil Made Us Do It!"

They returned to the island with a new found faith in God, telling stories about vomiting out the devil's influence.

I swear to god I'm not making this up.

Speidi might be gone, but the couple will be represented by Heidi's sister, Holly Montag, who reportedly joins the cast Wednesday.

Meanwhile, as if news of vomiting the devil didn't generate enough publicity, Heidi's rep confirmed told US magazine Monday that she wasn't tortured on the set of the show.

Tortured? WTF?

"There have been many reports that surfaced over the weekend regarding Spencer and Heidi Pratt. Many of these reports are false and inaccurate, including any reports of 'torture' on the show," the rep said.

Well, I must be out of the loop cuz I didn't see anything about Heidi being tortured...but, then again, I normally pay not attention to the Pratts. I just couldn't resist the devil thing--it was impossible to ignore.

Apparently, it was Spencer's sister, Stephanie, who brought up the issue of torture on an update she posted on Twitter: "I'm really saddened to hear that NBC felt it was OK to punish Speidi [she, too, calls them Speidi!] so harshly and torture them as if they were criminals--that Heidi was...rushed to the hospital and has an IV in her arm after being locked in a dark room for 3 days with no food or water. Pls pray she will be OK."

From that to reports of torture is a leap. But things tend to leap in the jungle...

In any case, it would be difficult to come up with crazy shit like this without some sort of divine inspiration, so perhaps god was involved after all. I pray that the folks at Saturday Night Live will know what to do.

Sources: US magazine, Ledger-Enquirer.com, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

Men accused of cooking coke dealer's body

Well, my friends, Psycho Monday continues with yet more sick fucks, and it just seems to be getting sicker and sicker by the hour. If this keeps up, "sick fuck" won't even begin to describe what we'll be seeing by Friday.

Before I get into describing the latest atrocity, should I apologize for swearing so much today? It does feel a bit excessive, yet it's not like I can anticipate how many sick fucks will make an appearance on any given day--you know? Here's the thing: a sick fuck is a sick fuck. There's just no other way to say it.

So check this out: a high school football coach and another man killed a cocaine dealer in Massachusetts to avoid paying a debt, dismembered his body and cooked the remains at a concrete business.

WTF? LOL!

Is it "wrong" or "bad" of me to laugh? But what else can I do at this point? This is so crazy, I can't help but laugh out loud.

Daniel Bradley, 47, of Westwood, and Paul Moccia, 48, of Dedham, pleaded not guilty Monday in Wrentham District Court to murder charges in the death of Angel Antonio Ramirez, a construction worker from Guatemala who lived in Framingham, AP reported.

What's with the hams? Why are there so many hams in Massachusetts? There must be a reason.

Moccia met Ramirez near the concrete company in Walpole that Bradley co-owns and shot him in the back with a .357-caliber pistol, Norfolk Assistant D.A. Robert Nelson said according to the report.

Moccia owed Ramirez $70,000 from drug deals and decided to kill him instead of paying up, authorities said.

Well...that's one way to deal with debt.

Bradley then dismembered the man's remains and tried to get rid of the evidence, Nelson said.

And what did Bradley do with the so-called evidence?

"It was cooked," Nelson said.

Alrighty, then.

Prosecutors didn't say how they arrived at their theory, or how the body was cooked or disposed of, AP reported.

What? No details? We don't get to hear whether he was grilled, boiled or fried? Marinated in beer, Mountain Dew or wine?

Defense attorneys said their clients are innocent and noted prosecutors haven't produced a body.

LOL! Well, of course not! How are prosecutors claiming that the body was cooked--surely using some sort of innovative culinary method concocted by construction workers--to produce a body? Pieces? Yeah, maybe. Bones? Probably, but not necessarily.

The morbid chefs might have not only cooked the dude but eaten him too, perhaps even shared Happy Meals with co-workers at the construction site, served with their choice of BBQ, teriyaky or honey mustard sauce.

Or maybe they fed him to stray dogs, which are more than eager to take the bones where no one can find them.

Prosecutors believe forensic evidence from the concrete factory will support their case against the suspects, Nelson said as per the AP report. Investigators found blood spots inside the concrete business, called RJ Bradley Co., as well as on a pair of Bradley's boots at his Westwood home.

How do blood spots on concrete and boots translated to man stew?

Bradley is an assistant football coach at Xaverian Brothers High School, while Moccia is a longtime Mass Pike toll collector. Colin Durrant, a spokesman for the Executive Office of Transportation, said Monday that Moccia has been suspended without pay and a disciplinary hearing has been scheduled, AP reported.

The men were held without bail in Wrentham (another ham!) District Court. A pretrial hearing has been scheduled for July 7.

I wonder what they'll be fed in jail while awaiting that hearing...

Sources: The Associated Press, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

Pregnant woman cut open, baby taken

This undated photo released by the Kidd family shows Heather M. Snively. (AP Photo/Kidd family)

Sick fucks are crawling out of the woodwork today.

Check out the latest abomination.

Authorities said Monday an 21-year-old woman who was found dead in a crawl space of an Oregon suburban home had been cut open and her baby delivered from her womb, AP reported.

The Washington County sheriff's office said Monday that it couldn't be determined if the infant son of Heather Snively, who was eight months pregnant, died before or after he was removed from the womb.

A medical examiner said earlier Monday that Snively had died of "blunt force" and "sharp force" injuries.

A 27-year-old Beaverton woman who claimed the baby was her own was to be arraigned Monday on a murder charge in Snively's death, AP reported.

Authorities haven't said how Korena Elaine Roberts obtained Snively's baby, who died Friday at a hospital, AP reported. Snively's body was found in Roberts' home.

Sources: The Associated Press, CNN
Copyright © 2009

17-year old sadist beats, rapes and kills baby

It's only Monday, and already we have strong contenders for the Sick Fuck of the Week Award.

Earlier we learned about two dirtbags who soaked a dog in gasoline and set in on fire just for fun. And now, we're introduced to a piece of trash whose heartwarming deed will be difficult to top this week. Yet, we still have six days to go, so you never know.

Our next candidate for Sick Fuck of the Week is Arnold T. Ross, a 17-year-old sick fuck who beat, raped and killed an 8-month-old baby boy in New Orleans. (Police photo)

The Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office said Ross was charged with aggravated rape and first-degree murder and taken into custody Saturday. No bond was set.

He was arrested after officers responded to a call about an unresponsive infant, AP reported. The baby, Da-Von Lonzo, was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead shortly after arrival, according to a news release issued by the sheriff's office.

Authorities say Ross told them he was the boyfriend of the infant's mother and the baby fell down the stairs while he was baby-sitting, but he later acknowledged that he beat the infant repeatedly when he would not stop crying.

So this genius, like sooo many geniuses before him, tried to stop a baby from crying by beating him to a pulp. Brilliant. On top of that, he figured raping a tiny baby with a big dick would assist in stopping the crying.

This degenerate told police that when the child began to defecate on himself (from the beating, no doubt), he tried to clean it up, causing the tears.

He beat the crap out of the baby--literally--and then caused the tears while cleaning the baby with his dick. It's perfectly logical.

Can anyone explain to me what the fuck is up with these scumbag, no-IQ "boyfriends" who beat, rape and microwave babies? And what's up with the "mothers" who pick these men. Where do they find them? The sewers?

Ross has a record of previous arrests for possession of crack cocaine and marijuana, obscenity, battery on a correctional officer, three counts of battery on a teacher, three counts of theft, illegal carrying of a weapon and assault, according to Nola.com.

And he was free to roam the streets...

What did the authorities expect this out-of-control, depraved, criminally inclined motherfucking shit for brains to do? Go out to the world and be someone other than who he's been so far? Go to school? Play a sport? Get a job?

I would look into who allowed this perverted brute to remain among us after a string of crimes during his short life.

I hope he's convicted and sent to a prison where he'll never lack someone to lovingly "wipe his ass" when he gets the crap beaten out of him.

Source: The Associated Press, CNN, Nola.com, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

The beginning of the end for Jon & Kate Plus 8

Jon and Kate Gosselin celebrate their 100th episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 on TLC.

All I'm going to say about the Gosselins is that it's over. The show it's over.

That's what happens when you try to have your cake and eat it too.

Their hit TV show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, has brought them fame and fortune, but it has also changed their lives.The once-normal, everyday couple from next door coping with the extraordinary circumstances stemming from raising a set of twins and sextuplets is now as far from "everyday" as it gets, more than 100 episodes farther.

But that alone wouldn't have been enough to derail the gravy train. They got themselves a scandal.

That's what's happening in the U.S.--you're nobody or next-to-nobody unless you're on television, and once there, you're not a true star until something nasty about you can be reported and milked for all it's worth by the media and the insatiable-for-trash public.

All you need is one thing--one word, one act, one photo--that the self-righteous majority finds reprehensible to end up on the cover of every pop culture magazine, in every entertainment news show, and the subject of daily water-cooler discussions, and you've made it. If genitals are involved, even better.

So finally, after all these years, you've made it to the pinnacle of your TV career. But now everyone...well, not everyone...but a bunch of people who once "loved" you and those who knew nothing about you until the shit hit the fan now hate you.

They'll watch a few episodes of your show, maybe even the whole season, to get a glimpse of the train wreck that is now your life. And rather than feeling envious of you and your vacations, they will cherish their new found power as moral judges. And, soon enough, they will drop you.

I don't mean to be negative. It's just the way it usually goes.

The good ratings-turned-to-awesome-ratings-post-scandal will go down the drain, the show will be canceled, and other than a yearly picture to see how much the kids have grown, no one will buy a magazine or tune into any show to see you.

And that's all I'm gonna say.

Sources: My Twisted Mind, TLC photo
Copyright © 2009

Apple unveils coveted new and improved iPhone

Photo provided by PR Newswire

As hoped for by iPhone fans, Apple today unveiled a new and improved iPhone to be available on June 19.

The new iPhone 3GS comes with a 3-megapixel, auto-focus camera that also captures video, voice control for dialing and iPod playback, USA Today reported. Some of you just had a mini-orgasm.

It's priced at $199 for 16 GB and $299 for 32 GB through Apple's U.S. partner, AT&T. Apple also announced it dropped the price of the current GB8 model to $99. The phone will be available in black and white, like earlier models.

New operating system software will be available worldwide June 17, free for iPhone users, and $9.95 for iPod Touch users, USA Today report.

Highlights include...

...sorry, but this is as far as I go.

This is no place for gadget reviews. Google it, my friend.

I will, however, comment about the stampede of gotta-have-it consumeristas that shall flock to malls to buy Apple's latest gizmo.

I'll never forget the serpentine lines that formed at the mall the last time an updated version of the iPhone went on sale--no--before it went on sale. Thousands of people fought for a few hundred spots on a list that would grant them the chance to buy the phone on the day it became available for sale, as though buying it any time after that were out of the question.

The way I see it, meaning I could be wrong, new versions just have more bells and whistles that are not urgently needed by the majority of the people using these phones. I know I could get arrested for saying that.

Yet, skipping work and class and life to stand in line for four or five hours to get something I already have is inconceivable to me.

As you can see, I don't get it. Yes, I'm a freak.

Sources: USA Today, CNN, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

Juvenile sick fucks set pitbull on fire, dog dies

The photo shows the pitbull that was set on fire before it was euthanized. ( WBAT TV)

Two Baltimore teenagers were charged Monday for dousing a pitbull with gasoline and setting it on fire, burning 98% of its body and, eventually, killing it.

Jesus F. Christ!

Police spokesman Donny Moses said Monday police weren't releasing the names of the two juveniles (motherfuckers) charged because of their age. So they're old enough to commit this horrific act but not old enough to be exposed. I think whether or not the names of so-called juvenile delinquents should be shared with the public should be based on the nature of the crime and not the ages of the criminals, if you ask me.

Police have not said what charges the youths face.

Too bad it's only murder if you kill a person. But where would you draw the line?

Killing an ant or a cockroach or a rat couldn't possibly be murder, could it? What about a dog, a cat, a horse? What if it were based on the level of suffering the animal is (a) capable of experiencing given the size and sophistication of its brain, and (b) the suffering and damage actually experienced given the torture endured and the end result. Whether the animal has been domesticated or not also could be considered, as the suffering of the people who own the animals, which often are considered part of the family, should be taken into consideration when punishing the torturers and/or killers--shouldn't it. Food for thought.

You might think I'm being too harsh, but the thing is I have zero tolerance for cruelty to animals, whether it's a mouse or an elephant. Bugs are another story. They're practically brainless and easy to kill quickly and, therefore, nearly impossible to torture, though I'm sure little motherfuckers like the ones involved in this case have devised methods to torture something as small as a flea.

According to the report, the dog was doused with gasoline on May 27 on Calhoun Street in southwest Baltimore and then set on fire. After being treated for the burns, which covered 98% of its body, the 2-year-old pitbull had to be euthanized four days later at a hospital in Pennsylvania.

"This was one of the most cruel things I've ever seen. It hurt me to my heart," said Baltimore city police Officer Syreeta Teel, who used her sweatshirt to put the fire out.

I say--you know what's coming, don't you?--douse the pricks with gasoline and set them on fire. But make sure they remain alive to suffer the notiriously terrible pain from the burns. A small fine, community service or few months in jail playing Nintendo just doesn't do it for me.

Sources: BNO News, WBAL TV, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009

Brazil releases photos from Air France crash

Seventeen bodies and debris from the wreckage have been found 600 miles off the northeastern coast of Brazil, roughly 45 miles from the last known contact of Air France flight 447, which crashed into the Atlantic on May 31 four hours into its 11-hour flight from Rio de Janeiro to Paris.

As to the cause of the crash, after much speculation about how an electrical storm could have affected the aircraft, authorities are now focusing on inconsistent airspeed readings sent by the plane in its final minutes of flight.

Investigators were reviewing the actions of a Pitot tube, which supplies information about ambient air pressure, aiding the measurement of air speed, according to numerous news reports.

“There have been situations on Airbus planes, and perhaps on others, where these tubes no longer indicated the airspeed because it entered a humid area, a low-pressure area, an area of turbulence," said Dominique Bussereau, the French secretary of state for transportation.

This means that if the Flight 447 pilots could not read the measurement correctly, the plane could have been flying too slowly or flying too fast, with deadly results. French investigators announced Saturday that the plane had been scheduled to have its Pitot tube replaced, The New York Times reported.

A U.S. Navy team is flying to Brazil today with high-tech underwater listening devices to help the search for the black boxes, which contain the flight data and cockpit voice recorders. These probably have reached the bottom of the ocean, which in that area consists of rocky terrain reaching depths of anywhere between 3,000 to 13,000 feet. The boxes emit signals from a “pinger,” but it will start to fade after 30 days, NYTs reported. The French Navy is sending a nuclear-powered submarine to the area in an effort to detect the signals.

The search operation involves five Brazilian ships, a French frigate, 12 Brazilian and two French planes.

I must admit that I'm impressed with this search operation and what it has accomplished so far given the immense size of the search area, small size of the debris left behind by the plane, and difficulty in identifying objects in water. Technology and determination.

Sources: BNO News, ABC News, The Washington Post, New York Times
Copyright © 2009

Tiny men with tiny dicks sentence U.S. journalists to 12 years in labor prison

Unbelievable, though expected.

I've been merciless with North Korea since my first story here about the missiles the communist country recently launched (Bullies in the Sky, May 27), so what can I possibly say now that these pricks have decided to show us how remarkably powerful they are by...

...harnessing the power of the Earth's core? Nope. Being the architects of world peace? Nope. Ending malaria and hunger in third-world countries? Nope. Building spaceships that can travel to distant galaxies free from the constraints of light speed? Nope. Jailing two female U.S. journalists for unspecified "grave crimes? Yup.

Yes, North Korea's top court has convicted reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee of "hostile acts" (what acts?) against the nation and illegally crossing into the North, and sentenced them to 12 years in labor prison, the country's state news agency reported Monday according to an AP report. Even rapists don't get that many years. WTF?

So we still don't know what "grave crime" or "hostile acts" they allegedly committed, and we still don't have proof that indeed they had crossed the border. So what did the prosecutors and judges do during this "trial"? Scratch their tiny balls with their pencils?

Lee (on the left) and Ling (right) cannot appeal as they were tried in North Korea's highest court where decisions are final. Nice touch.

"The trial confirmed the grave crime they committed against the Korean nation and their illegal border crossing as they had already been indicted and sentenced each of them to 12 years of reform through labor," state-run KCNA news agency said according to a BBC report.

The sentences are much harsher than what many observers had hoped for--which proves that observing and hoping in such cases is...let's see...useless?

The June 4-8 trial was not open to the public or to foreign observers. You know what? That's bullshit. Who's to say the little men with flimsy tiny dicks weren't playing Scrabble or some Korean card game while in the courtroom those four days?

The U.S. Embassy in Seoul said it had no immediate comment, AP reported.

The two journalists were arrested March 17 on the China-North Korean border while working on a report about the trafficking of women. It's unclear if they strayed into the North or were grabbed by aggressive border guards who crossed into China. The circumstances of the arrest have been shrouded in secrecy, as is typical of the reclusive nation, AP reported.

Some believe N. Korea will use the two women as bargaining chips in its standoff with South Korea and the U.S., which are pushing for U.N. sanctions to punish the nation for its latest nuclear blast and barrage of missile tests. We'll see...

The women's families have appealed for clemency and asked Pyongyang and Washington not to link the case to the current diplomatic stand-off between them, BBC reported.

I certainly hope--though hoping is futile, doing...doing is what it will take, except I'm not the one to do it--that it's not too late for someone more powerful, in other words, someone with a real dick, such as Hillary, to make a difference in this case. A minimum number of inches should be required to run a country, if you ask me.

Sources: The Associated Press, BBC, My Twisted Mind
Copyright © 2009